Friendships Fail

I knew that not all friendships are built to last. You gain some, you lose some. However I’ve lost a lot of friends this year. Each for various reasons. Knowing that not all friendships last doesn’t make this any easier for me. Losing friends hurts, no matter the reason. You were once friends, now you’re not. I’ve lost friends for reasons like drinking alcohol (which for the record it was a Midnight Halloween Party after the kids had gone to bed) and while I understand why some people would walk away, I didn’t understand this particular instance. I think he just wanted an excuse to cut the friendship. We lived in different states, and rarely spoke at all. Yet the fact that I was drinking alcohol at a party, 4 states away, told him that I was a bad friend and wasn’t good for him. I understand that, but I wasn’t pressuring or influencing. Could it be that I was creating the temptation for him to drink? Did he have a deeper problem with alcohol than I knew? There was also an issue where everything I’d ever stressed about was being called drama. I also got called materialistic for talking about my iPad on Facebook. To be honest, I’m the furthest thing from materialistic that anyone knows. I could care less about what I own, because my family and friendships are all I need. In-fact, I haven’t really touched that iPad in years, and it was a gift.

Another friendship failed simply because of a girl. He wanted to make some big gesture by ending my friendship to please someone else… this someone else didn’t even care that we were friends! Another excuse to rid me from his life perhaps? I assume as much because while we did speak, he didn’t say a single word to me until after I’d had the chance to rebuild a lost friendship with the woman he cut ours for. He THEN spoke to me and apologized but I don’t want to be friends with someone who cut me out over someone else. That’s too much for me, and whose to say it won’t happen again in the future? I found out he was a liar anyway.

Yet another friendship was cut for unknown reasons. Probably because he was a mutual friend of the guy in the paragraph above. Another friendship was lost because her husband lied about mine, causing mine to get in trouble. Another friendship was lost because of unknown reasons. It really just goes to show that not ALL friendships are built to last. I have maybe 4 total friends that I know will ALWAYS be there for me. I have friendships I hope last, but probably won’t. No I won’t treat them like they won’t last, but I will definitely work on them regardless. I hate losing friends, and I love meeting people. So this year has been a social anxiety turning point for me. I don’t know whether I should keep trying to just become a recluse. So I’m working on the latter of the two.


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